


"I've Put Off Needing You Long Enough."

by AightImmaHeadOut



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Banter, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Running Away, but its all in good fun so thats okay, matt being annoying to mello
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29138457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AightImmaHeadOut/pseuds/AightImmaHeadOut
Summary: Mello tells Near his shocking plans for the future.
Relationships: Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	"I've Put Off Needing You Long Enough."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyyy

Near was never affectionate.

He was unaffectionate and he never let anyone forget it. It's not like he meant to be called rude and unfriendly, it's just that he couldn't help himself. That's just how he was. He was different, a special case, and people left him alone. Some said to just pretend he didn't exist. Others tried to talk to him but gave up within a week. But when Mello came, he made it very clear that he had no filter. He said what he wanted no matter how many times he was chastised about being rude.

"It's true." he would say. "He never will be successor."

Near had to agree. The boy he was talking about was slow. He always got sick, and he always seemed to slow the whole class down. Even Near got annoyed by it, even if to the human eye he looked like he was playing with toys at 13. Mysteriously, the boy's things were taken from his locker and packed into a small suitcase, where he got into a car and was driven away.

He was never seen again.

He was know as Wammy's failed experiment, someone who was too stupid to keep in the program. It was used as an insult, to threaten, and bribe. Mello was one of those people of course. He would brag that he was the on who opened the teacher's eyes about his stupidity, and convinced many of the smaller children that they were going to be put where he was. A hellhole, he called it. A place where you work hard labor and the devils whip you on the back for not working fast enough.

"And if you manage to fail at that too..." he whispered to the wide eyed children, "You'll get put down."

When word got around to the teacher's, the children were forbidden from speaking about him ever again. Mello was on that list, of course, and he was forced to eat all his meals in his room for a month. Near had thought that Mello was the type of person who would be okay alone forever. He was so independent, and he didn't need anyone.

Now it was Valentines Day, a holiday that wasn't taken as seriously as Christmas, but still important enough to have a small party. Near was sitting in his usual corner, a small pouch filled with small chocolates of colorful wrappers, something that the teachers were giving out and something that he would give to Matt because he didn't like sweet things. Yes, he had been sitting their contemplating the best way to give them to him without triggering his chatting reflex. Maybe putting them in his locker? Or possibly leaving it in his room. Perhaps he should just suck it up and risk having to hold a conversation. It was then he noticed a pair of legs shadowing his light.

Annoyed on the inside, emotionless on the outside, Near looked up. This person had no sense of personal boundaries, and was annoying him by blocking out the light of a common room window. In short, it was distracting.

Mello was standing there, furious as usual when he looked at him. Usually he would walk by and give him the evil eye, perhaps knock over or stomp on his toys in the process. But there was nothing to destroy, only a puzzle that was half done, and that was an unsatisfying thing to destroy. Mello stood completely still and said gruffly

"I need to talk to you."

Now, if their was one thing Near learned in his life, it was to be suspicious. Suspicious when Roger held out his hand when they meant each other for the first time. Suspicious about this mysterious L, who the children looked up to so well. Suspicious when Matt came into up to him and sat next to him without a word.

Suspicious now, when a certain blonde came up to him and asked to take him somewhere.

"Okay." he said simply, and got up without a sound, a talent that he didn't take notice to, but others did.

Mello spun on his heel, walking away as if he was purposely trying to run away from Near even though that he was the one that called him in the first place. The older boy took him to the closets, where the great doors held all the coats, and gloves, and scarves, and boots and everything you would need for a cold winter day. Usually, it wasn't used much, but in the winter is when they were used the most. The children would haul great deals of snow at each other, although Near did not get the appeal. Only Matt seemed to agree with him on this aspect, but that didn't stop Mello from dragging him outside every couple weeks.

"Put on your coat, stupid." Mello ordered. Near sighed. So they _were_ going outside.

He was close to telling him that didn't _want_ to go outside, but with Mello's temper? He probably wouldn't exist by the time lunch came along. He wordlessly put on his little coat and his boats, but made the mistake of putting his gloves on before his scarf. The blonde watched him impatiently, already all bundled up. Kneeling down quickly, he aggressively tied the scarf around Near's neck into a fat knot. Near watched in surprise. He wasn't used to this sort of...thing. 

Maybe it was because Mello knew that he got sick easily, and he would be held responsible if he did. 

The younger boy's cheeks felt confusingly hot, and he quickly used the knot to hide his face. He came to the conclusion that it was just his loneliness speaking for him. 

The older boy got back to his feet, as if he a didn't do anything out of the ordinary in the slightest. If only he could see the redness in his face too. Grabbing Near's wrist, he walked out of to the front of the orphanage. The front part was less popular then the back. It tended to be shoveled more in case a car were to pull into the gates, making it more slush then snow. The pace Mello was going at was slightly fast for Near, and it made him stumble more then he was calculated. 

It made him feel stupid to be looking like a headless chicken in front of Mello.

And it made him annoyed that he felt stupid. Why should he care what anyone else thinks? Mello didn't even like him. 

But something about that felt wrong too. If Mello _did_ not like him, he would've made him disappear within a month. Other then all of him breaking some of his toys, there always seemed to be something holding him back. Something that made him never lay a hand on him. Near had never had a bruise from Mello before. The most he did was talked. 

He was very confusing. Near concluded that this was what made him like him. 

Mello dragged the white haired boy into the small gazebo that was diagonal from the doors. The wood was damp with wet snow, but it indeed had a cozy feeling. They sat inside the shelter. Near played with a loose string of his scarf, and Mello looked away, embarrassed. Near didn't want to talk first. He had a feeling it would make this situation a lot more awkward, and he didn't want Mello to feel uncomfortable. The albino self consciously looked out the openings of the window. Snow was falling softly.

He hears Mello take a deep breath, and and the younger looks him in the eyes once more. Mello fidgets in his seat, but never breaks the eye contact held between them. 

"I'm leaving Wammys."

Near hears himself softly gasp. The blonde down, twiddling his thumbs quietly. 

He knew he would do this. Ever since he came to Wammys, Near knew that he was different. Unique. He always made sure to keep his thoughts of the older one in check, for he didn't want to have to rely on him. However, that didn't stop him from wanting to convince Mello to stay. A future without him felt empty. He didn't have a purpose if there was no one obsessed to beat him. He was the one that made Near want to work in the first place. The boy's aggression seemed to give him the push he needed, and no on would take his place.

"Mello...Why are you telling me and not Matt...?"

The older boy scowled when he said this, because it felt like his rival was seeing through him once again. 

"And what? You think you're too good for me? Because it's just impossible for you to feel _anything_?!"

Ah. Here we go again. Why did he always feel so irritable when he talked to Near? It's so frustrating to always keep things inside. Why could he never get the point across with him? It always seemed like he was toying with his emotions. He wanted to tell him _so many things_ , but why the hell was it so hard?

"No...I was just curious. I apologize."

"I was telling you cause you have to come with me."

And for the first time in Near's life, he spoke without out thinking.

" _Huh?"_

The blonde's words started to tumble out of him, and he cursed himself for not being able to stop.

"Because think about it. I'm almost fifteen and I want to be successor. But Wammys is like a fucking prison. You can't do anything here, and the only thing that we have to look forward to is becoming L. I want to do that my own way. Why does that old fart have to tell everyone what to do? Why can't I do it my own way? It doesn't matter unless I get there, right?"

"But Mello-"

"I want to take you because I want you to make sure I don't get myself killed. I hate myself for even think that, but _I_ want to become successor. I know you're better then me at so many things, but it's my fault for taking things out on you. I'm sorry, Near."

Near couldn't stop his eyes from widening. 

"You really are...confusing, Mello."

Stupid, stupid, stupid! The blonde was internally panicking. Why had he said all those things? He was too open again, why did he have to blab all those things to this freak?! 

"I'm only thirteen, I can't-"

"Please."

Why is he crying? Near can't believe his eyes when he sees the tears welling up in his rival's eyes. His normally energetic persona was gone. Now it seems like he's vulnerable, lost in the snow, hoping for someone to come find him.

"Please come with me Near. You're the only thing that makes me feel whole. I _like_ having someone by my side. Without anything domestic, I feel so lost and weak without anyone there. No, that's not it, it has to be _you_. Please, please, please come with me. We can escape this hellhole and finally be happy without are grades messing with our heads."

"I _need_ you, Near."

...He needed him. He needed Near as much as he needed him. All this time, their chains that the adults put on them cut off their emotions, making them a full head of logic. But since Mello's stubbornness is so strong, he was able to break out the chains before Near. The first. 

Near felt the humongous weight on his shoulder he didn't know he had slowly fade. Has he really been carrying so much on his back? Would running away with Mello make him even lighter? 

...Yes. It would.

"I'll go. Please don't leave me alone again. I don't want to be whipped by the devils."

They acted quickly after that. Over the next few days, they stole preservatives from the kitchen a little at a time, as well as many bottles of water. Their allowances were added together and they packed warm blankets to fight against the cold. Their jackets would be waiting for them in the closet. 

Mello told Matt about their plans two days before the deadline, alone. Apparently, he hadn't taken being left behind very well, and been giving him the cold shoulder ever since. Near could tell it was hard for the blonde to keep his cool when his best friend kept giving him backhanded comments. Luckily, he knew that he wasn't the one the gamer was mad at. All of Matt's anger was directed towards Mello, because he wanted to go _with_ them. But they all new the real reason why. 

If all three of them left, it would cause even more chaos since they were the three smartest people in the orphanage. Disappearing would make it harder to _stay_ hidden, and it was almost impossible to stay out of L's grasp. That faceless detective never stops looking. There is no way in hell that he'll give up finding his two greatest successor's. After they leave, those tow will always be his top priority. And with three? That's a death wish. Matt figures that he'll probably wait until they let their guard down, and force them to come back. 

Well, technically Mello's allowed to leave in a couple months. Near will probably be more of a problem then he'll be. Two years, the blonde has to keep him safe for. And what if the police turns it around and blames it on his best friend?

Matt knows that they've already made up their mind, and he hates himself for being selfish. He _knows_ that Mello has feelings for Near, yet he still fells like he's being left behind. And with the way this damn cage is, he'll probably have to wait another year until he's allowed. But...

Wouldn't that mean that he would be successor? 

Hell no. Not in a million years, even L couldn't force him to do that crap

Matt smiles to himself. 

"Stupid Mello. Always making me do all the grunt work."

Near's not used to being awake at night. 

It's not like he's addicted to sleep, but he often enjoys the refreshing feeling that comes with it in the morning. Now, he feels his eyelids drooping as Mello ties his scarf properly for him. It seems the older is used to staying up so late with the way he excitedly shoves his feet into his boots. They decided to sneak out of one of the loose windows in the common room, because the second floor was asking them to slip up (literally). They also found that no matter how much oil they added onto the hinges on the main door, they couldn't stop the creaking. Their backpacks are filled with their supplies, and Matt comes to say goodbye at their window. 

"Stay safe, okay?" he said hugging Near. "Use that big brain to show them whose boss."

"We will," Near answers, wrapping his gloved hands around him. "Please be careful after we leave, we'll see you again soon."

Matt hugs his best friend next. "Love you man," he says, his face half in Mello's sleeve. "Listen to Near sometimes, he's a good person."

The blonde sinks into he embrace. "Yeah, only sometimes though, right?"

"Yeah."

They didn't look back. 

Mello forced them to run as far as they could until the wee hours of the morning. Near understood, but that didn't stop him from being dragged by the older boy the last couple hours. When they finally stopped, it was a little bit into a forest, where they could easily get out of. Breakfast never tasted so good. Near didn't exactly eat much, but in this moment he finished his breads in minutes. Mello watched him, laughter in his eyes. It was cold, but they were close so that wasn't a problem. 

"Hey."

Near looked up at the blonde. He was surprised that he was initiating a conversation. They both knew full well that he was tired too. Mello looked away sheepishly. 

"I um, didn't give you anything for Valentines day yet so..." he reached into his pocket. 

It wasn't chocolate. It was a small gold chain. Simple. Light. Just how Near would've wanted it. He knew that he didn't like sweet things. He actually paid attention. The younger took the chain carefully, as if it would shatter in his hands. It slipped easily on his small wrist, but he noticed how it wouldn't slip off easily if they were running around. 

It was perfect. 

Mello was shocked when his companion started to cry. His eyes softened. Words weren't needed, they both knew. He hugged Near close to him until his tears dried.

"It's crappy, but it's the only thing we've got." 

Near looked around. The apartment was dirty, and it certainly looked bad compared to Wammy's, but he was honestly thankful that they didn't have to sleep outside again. 

"This'll be fine. Thank you, Mello." 

Mello looked away, embarrassed. "It's nothing, really. I just want you to be comfortable that's all."

Weeks had passed. They were constantly on the run now. They were labeled missing, runaways. They've had a few close calls, but it was nothing too serious, since they both knew they could outsmart anyone out of Wammy's. 

Despite their smarts though, neither of them could explain why they slept in the same bed that night. 

Near tiptoed around the bed. He looked over at Mello, who was still asleep, softly. Reaching over, he brushed strands of golden hair out of his eyes until the boy's eyelids fluttered softly.

"Hey sheep." he murmured. 

Near smiled. It was a nickname he gave him a few months ago. For no reason at all though, it made him happy when he called him that. 

"Happy Birthday, Mello." 

Mello, half awake now, sat up in bed slowly. He smirked in amusement. "I hope that's not a hint that I'm old."

"Well, it is your sweet sixteen. I wanted to remind you."

Near fiddled with his collar. "I got something for you." 

Mello gave him an easy smile. "Oh yeah?" "Yeah."

Near reached into his shirt and pulled out a rough sheet of paper. Mello continued to look at the charcoal version of himself, even after breakfast. 

It was an accident, it really was. 

They were walking along the sidewalk, hoods up. The conversation was nice, and the air was peaceful. Unfortunately for them, Mello wasn't looking where was he going. This wouldn't have normally been a problem (Mello was usually crashing into _some_ thing when they walk around), but he ended up crashing onto a slightly taller man, wearing a school outfit complete with a tie. His school bag flew to the ground, all the books falling out from the impact. 

After the awkwardness of the apologies came, the brunettes widened. He seemed in a hurry to leave after that. Perhaps it was just a coincidence, but over the next few days the cops seemed to be scanning over every inch of the neighborhood. The boys were in a hurry to leave after for that. 

It was the day they had been waiting for. 

Driving the car that had been abandoned on the side of the road, Mello listened carefully to Near's directions. Other then that, there wasn't really much hat they could say. Their stomachs had a pits inside of them, and the butterflies were unbearable. They also refused to share their worries - they both knew what the other was thinking anyway.

"We're here." Mello said, parking onto the side of the road.

It was almost empty, the ally that they were in, but Mello sincerely hoped that someone would come. Near clung to the distressed blonde's sleeve, kind of rubbing his arm in a comforting motion. Appreciation filled Mello's heart. If the albino wasn't here, he would've probably already broke his wrist on the brick wall. Looking at the crappy phone he had bought, the time read 1:03 am. 

"You can stay in the car if you want." Mello said dismissively. "Sleep, warm up."

Near shook his head. "I'm not going to let you self destruct."

He gently pulled the older man's hand out of his pocket, and forced him to wrap his finger around his own. "He'll come, Mells. I know he will."

Mello blinked his eyes at the moonlight.

Near was curled up in his side on the dirty ground of the ally. The blonde looked around for any signs of life, but all he was answered with was the wind, making his eyes water. Maybe it was time to go. Besides, he felt the sheep shivering slightly and god knows what money he was gonna use to buy medicine. 

"Shit, am I interrupting something?" Mello looked up in a flash. 

And there he was. Stupid old Matt all grown up. Near stirred, probably sensing his surprise and opened his eyes. "Matt!" The two got up immediately and rushed into into the brunette's arms. 

"Where the hell were you?" Mello grumbled into his shoulder. "I uh, kinda got lost on the way here. But I got something to make up for it!" he reached into his pocket, and took out a plastic package of rice balls. From the convivence store. Mello and Near looked at each other in disbelief. 

The car ride home was peaceful. 

They had abandoned their old car, and happily took Matt's shiny red one instead. Near immediately fell asleep in the back seat, thankful for Matt's protection of both the inside and outside of vehicles. The two friends caught up, and Matt shared everything that happened after they left Wammys. 

"You should've seen his face when he saw the lumps on your beds." Matt snickers. "He didn't even notice Near was missing until dinner that night!"

Mello howled with laughter, then quickly shut himself up when he realized Near was stilling sleeping. Checking on him quickly, he was relived to see that he was still comfortably resting. Unfortunatly for him, Matt seemed to notice the quick glance. Mello didn't even try to brace himself for the teasing. 

"Sooo, have you slept with each other yet?" "Matt!"

Snickering, he popped the last bite of his rice ball into his mouth. "Oh come on, I didn't _r_ _eally_ leave you guys alone for three years just for you not to even kiss yet, did I?"

"Matt, shut the fuck up."

"What are you, nervous? _Of rejection?_ " "Shut up. And we have kissed." 

"Aw, you dirty dog, you." 

"Fuck off, for the rest of your life."

Laughing softly, Matt sighed. "I missed you two so much."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! I missed all of you and Valentines day is coming up soon, so why not? Of course, it's not featured THAT much in this fic. Hopefully you guys liked it! And did you guys notice the little character easter egg before they found Matt? I'll buy you chocolates if you did :D
> 
> I hope you guys are surviving quarantine well, and not having TOO much stress. You'll see me pop up again in a few months haha! And if you guys have any request, feel free to comment your ideas below 0wo


End file.
